20 March 2014

Don't Let the Ba...Comments grind you down!

I was really surprised, when I heard in one of the Plus size blogger groups, that a blogger wanted to quit her blog because of some nasty comments. A part of me was so shocked! What kind of people waste their time leaving negative comments? But then the other part of me, wasn't shocked at all, I'd be lying if I told you that I don't expect to get some punk kid trying to tell me I can't give advice in beauty or fashion because I'm fat. I've been bullied in the past and I'm sure no matter who you are someone will always have something to say..But its upto us if we give them a voice!


Don't Let the Bastards Comments grind you down!

Confidence is a word I'm quite accustomed too. It's a word I've been called all my life but don't let my " I don't give a crap " bravado fool you. I do care. We all do. But I'm at one with my flaws, So when anything negative comes my way, I'm able to brush it off. I know who I am, and just like that, any negative words that come my way hold no power over me.

I've been blogging since November, One post in particular comes to mind, I posted on a rather taboo topic about my Facial Hair from my Polytheistic Ovaries, It was full of pictures of my hairy chin and I pretty much opened up my soul! It was every bullies dream post to make some horrid comment. It's a very delicate subject and It took me ages to write it and one of the reasons is I was worried someone would say something and it would upset me and I'd of deleted it in fear of being embarrassed. What if others see it and make fun? It's my most popular post on my blog with hits and comments. I think how many people that post has helped, and looking at all the comments, So many other readers and bloggers have a similar problem and found comfort in reading my post. I'm so glad I took a chance and posted it as receiving all those fabulous comments actually aided in boosting my confidence. It just goes to show you the power of a bully! Just the thought of one person saying something horrible almost put me off wanting to talk about an important issue.





I think as a person, I have piercings and tattoo's and funky coloured hair and a quirky personality not to mention, I'm a heffa.. Right away that's so many things a bully could choose to use as Ammo against me. If I thought like that, I'd never do anything. I'd never colour my hair or go out and wear all the wacky clothes I love. I'd never be able to be ME. Sometimes ( and even I'm guilty ) we get caught up worrying about what others think of us that we stop being ourselves and be more like who they want us to be.  I know I'm a good person. I know I'm a good friend and I put others before me. I know I work hard and put effort into my blog and pictures and content and I spend alot of time sending the love to other bloggers with comments and social tweeting and all that rad stuff. I think at this point, I'm beyond worrying what anyone thinks of me. Not in a horrible way, I don't think I'm better than anyone!  I just remember why I started my blog. I did it for ME. I didn't do it for anyone else. If I get to help others along the way? Then that's spiffy! There is no room for negativity on my blog. If someone wants to point out one of my flaws, then they are most welcome too but I wont be making a big deal of it and inviting others to do it aswell, I'd delete the comment and block the IP address and remind myself I'm fabulous. It takes guts to write sensitive posts and put your heart and soul out there and a few comments wont keep me down! :D

  I have a voice and its my blog and I wont be quietened or made to feel less of a person because I don't meet someones approval, and you neither should you. Don't feel you can't be yourself 100%. Not everyone is going to like your blog, it's a fact. Some may even comment negatively but think of others who DO like it? By listening to that bully, You let him win and you and your readers lose. The question is who are you trying to please? Have confidence in your voice and yourself and if someone has anything bad to say, just delete the comment and move on. It's not worth engaging, it's not worth getting into a comment bashing war. It's worth nothing. Simply ignore it and carry on with the blog that makes you happy and forget about the sad few that are trying to make you unhappy.




I can't just tell you to have confidence! If it was that easy, you would already have it and you wouldn't be feeling sad or disheartened. Never let a bully have any power. If a bully calls me fat, its a cheap shot and it wouldn't phase me. I know I'm fat. I don't need a bully to tell me. I'd feel sorry for them, wasting their time in the attempt to upset me. Sadly, I'm not going anywhere and if you are reading this and you are feeling low about your blog, or some little anon comment is on your mind, you have to let it go. Just let go and remember...



I'm sorry if this was a bit much, but I don't want to sugar coat anything, I'm not Willy Wonka!

 I'd like to personally put myself out there as a mini life coach. If you need confidence, You can drop me an email, or tweet me ( all my links are under my picture on the right or below ) If you are thinking of stopping your blog because of a bully, you can come to me or leave a comment. 

Just remember. You love to blog, Your blog might be helping others, Don't give up your voice to listen to someone elses! You wont please everyone! Remember why you starting blogging :) x

Do you remember why you started blogging? // Have you ever got a negative comment?

I always reply to all my comments & will always return the favor.
Make sure you're following me on all my social media too!!

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36 comments:

  1. Great post. Im so new to blogging that I havent encounyered any negativity YET, im sure I will at some point though. Reading your post has helped me prepare to deal with it, ill do the same, delete the comment, block the address and remind myself that i am good enough just how I am.
    Emily x
    www.plussizebeautyaddict.blogspot.com

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    1. Good for you Emily! It's upsetting thinking we have to brace ourselves, Or worry about such trivial things, The easiest thing to do is realise we may get them, remind ourselves its not them we blog for, and carry on being fabulous! :D

      Thanks so much for commenting Emily! I'm going to have a peek at your blog! Oooo new blog friend :P xxxx

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  2. Negative words say so much more about the speaker. It speaks volumes about their state of happiness and confidence that they feel the need to spew venom and bring others down. Very sad really, kill them with kindness I say!

    So lovely to see that you're so passionate about helping others. I only found you yesterday but you are fast becoming one of my top bloggers, you know when something just clicks? I got that.

    Have a wonderful day.

    Kathryn x

    Bit of a Freak

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    1. Thanks for commenting Kathryn! It's so hard to talk about this subject without seeming like a victim and equally seeming like you think your the shit bam bizzle and better than everyone. It's important to know that its YOUR blog and you write it for you and if people don't like it, thats fine, but if they want to pass judgment, they can forget it :D

      <3 Mwah xxx

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  3. Fantastic post. You can't win em all and really, if someone's so much of a negative person that they feel the need to write nasty comments to feel good about themselves- then I wouldn't want to 'win em' anyway. You shouldn't have to change your personality or look to suit anyone but you, I'd much rather be content with myself than be 'acceptable' to the standards of somebody else. I hope very much that the girl you mentioned continues to blog, I bet she's awesome.
    L xo

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    1. Thanks for commenting Lizzie :) You really can't win em all and I think when bloggers stop trying to, thats when we wont have a problem. It's easier said than done, but if you ignore a bully he will get tired of not being heard and move on to the next sadly, but we have to remember not to let them put us off what we love :)

      I too hope the girl keeps blogging, I bet shes awesome too :) xxx

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  4. Just found your cute blog! So glad I did! ♥ Can't wait to see more posts.
    Do you want to follow each other on instagram? I'm Chic Street Choc ! Thank uuu

    FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK
    CHIC STREET CHOC

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    1. Hey lovely :) I'll pop over and check your site out :) x

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  5. You said it all girly. Bad comments literally get deleted and life goes on. I really don't understand the people who leave negative comments. What is the point in it? Its just a waste of time. I feel like people forget that beyond the other side of that screen is another human being that has feelings. And If you don't like something just click off onto another page. Lovely post you beautiful person! xx

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    1. Hey Hunny! Thanks for commenting. I don't understand either, there isnt a point! I just wish more people didn't feel the need to pass judgment on others to make themselves feel better! <3 xxxxx

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  6. I've been pretty lucky as I haven't yet received any negative comments but in the past I have taken comments to heart straight away so I think if it happens, I will need to learn to ignore it and remind myself that I am doing the right thing with my blog and I never have any bad intentions :) lovely post Lucie!
    Bea x
    Bea's Beauty Blog

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    1. Hey Bea, Thanks for commenting sweet! I've been lucky too but tbh, I spend half my time point out my own flaws so they wouldn't stand a chance haha. I take things to heart too, comments or even wondering blogging in general. it's easy to get caught up in it. Sometimes we all just need to take a second and remember we choose the direction of our blog and our posts and we don't say anything bad to others, and deserve nothing bad in return.

      Thanks again for commenting gorgeous :) xx

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  7. one big juicy mother of an AMEN!
    Just because people like to put others down, doesn't make them any more perfect. People's attitudes towards others can be so disgusting, but really they are the minority. So many, CARING and nice people do have a lot of nice and positive things to say. It can be hard to focus on them, but when you get in the mind set of ignoring the nasties, it gets easier and they just become a distant memory along with their worthless comments.

    Stay beautiful girl xxxx

    pixirella.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. haha I think I love you more and more! lol When do we get to go for Tea? :P

      embracing the fact that not everyone will like you or how you post or blog really does help. Just be yourself and carry on doing what you wanna do. Haters GON' Hate and you cant please everyone so I just don't bother :)

      LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR COMMENTING YOU GORGEOUS FACE OF GORGEOUSNESSSS
      xxxx

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  8. Really great posts with some really good points. I think people shouldn't leave any comments if they have nothing nice to say, there is no need to be rude on someone else's blog. :) xx

    NK | www.esttrill.co.uk

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    1. Thanks for commenting darling :) You are right. I'd rather a post with no comments then people thinking I want to hear their negativity. <3

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  9. Such an amazing and empowering post. You really help to give people courage and make them feel that together they can support each other. Well you made me feel like that anyways. If I come across a blog I like I don't worry myself over what the author looks like so long as I like the content. We all blog for the same reason and everybody is beautiful in their own ways. I'm totally behind you with this subject and well done for being able to speak about it. :)
    xx Becki xx

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    1. Aw Thanks so much for commenting Becki :D We CAN support each other and I'm so glad you felt that from reading the post. I wish everyone wouldn't be so quick to criticize an ugly layout or a post with hard to read writing, We all do it and write the person off or worse, write a comment reflecting what we think and people dont deserve it. We are all beautiful just like you said and I wanted to mark my blog as a HATERS FREE ZONE because its full of love and rainbows and butterflys and expensive makeup :D


      Mwah xxxxxxxx

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  10. Great post hun x

    pearlsandsparkle.blogspot.com

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  11. Okay serious deja vu here, I just wrote a blog post earlier on my blog on the similar train of thought (well more I'm having trouble with this) and then I go to bloglovin and see you wrote about this same thing 10 hours earlier! If I ever need a sign or some sort of positive encouragement, this was the time. Thank you for writing this. I seriously needed this today <3

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  12. I love this post! I've been quite lucky. I've been blogging since 2009 (but have only started to see things picking up in the last 18 months) and I've never had a horrible comment, and if I did I'd just delete it and blacklist their IP. Happy people don't try to make other people feel bad. Strong people lift you up, they don't put you down. I put off turning the focus of my blog around to plus size fashion for at least a year before I plucked up the courage because I was scared of haters and I'm so glad I did (finally!) I've never looked back since and wish I'd started ages ago. x x

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    1. I too have been lucky, Haven't had someone comment something negative yet but equally, I point half of my flaws out anyway lol so sort of doing his or her job for them :P xx

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  13. Great post! I'm still a newbie at blogging and haven't encountered any negativity...yet. (luckily) Normally when I follow a blog its because I like what I'm reading not because of what the blogger looks like. I think people shouldn't waste their time leaving negative hurtful comments...we should instead be supporting and encouraging one another!
    Thanks so much for this post

    Keisha xo

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    1. Thanks Keisha, I'm so glad you havent had any negativity yet! I hope more people just enjoy posts for what they are instead of the person writing them xx

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  14. Boom! Well said my lovely!
    Everyone needed to see a post like this including myself! Loved reading it..I totally agree and at the end of the day blogging is a space for someones thoughts and rambles so f**k anyone who tries to bring a blog writer down. In my view they have very little to be at when trying to bring another person down to their level and it really is ridiculous! Everyone has things that they are flawless at may it be beauty, fashion, lifestyle..whatever! Everyone needs to be proud of themselves and sometimes people can be cruel, I'll hold my hands up to that - I have been bullied before and learned to deal with it in a number of ways and didn't at the same time. I learned to love myself and be happy, still building on my confidence I will admit and it is hard but I am getting there and blogging definitely helps that.
    Starting a blog is for yourself so keep it going to everyone out there and love YOU!!!!!

    Awesome post Lucie - delighted to have seen and read this!

    Rachael x
    All The Little Things x | Rachael McClenaghan

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    1. You are so right, fuck anyone who tires to bring a writer down. If they dont like the post, they can move on. The amount of confidence blogging has given me, I wouldnt DREAM of giving any of it back because of a bully! xxxxxx

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  15. Another awesome post my lovely ♡♡♡

    I am really sad to hear that someone considered leaving their blog because of bullies and the sad thing is that the bullies half the time dont even know or care about the damage they cause. Most of the time it is just a sad little troll who onviously has some issues of their own if they can only feel powerful from behind a screen attacking people. I guess the best thing is to do what you said delete, block and move on but of it is still bothering you defo talk to someone. Bloggers are so supportive of each other which is something that has really made me smile over the last few weeks. Including finding you miss awesome xxx

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    1. I know, I was gutted when I saw it. Bullies think their words are funny or make them look cool to others. They don't realize the impact of their words! I'm so glad the bloggers have been keeping a smile on your face lovely :) xx

      xxxxx

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  16. Great post doll !! No one on this earth deserves to be bullied...Honestly trolls are one of my pet hates,I understand not everyone is going to like a certain post/video and have different opinions about it but why cant they just click out like any normal person !! I don't think people half appreciate the work us guys put into our blogs... I just don't understand . Everyone's great at what they do and their blogs are amazing all in their own way !
    Cait || http://copycattt.blogspot.ie/

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  17. I haven't had negative comments, not yet, I am fully prepared for it though, everyone is different and has different opinions.

    The problem was another blogger, who I know had negative comments themselves was being negative towards another blogger....and not for the first time.

    My personal stance on it is be constructive in your criticisms, if you have them, but never disrespect or upset.

    Love your blog :)

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  18. I still haven't got any 'negative' comments, and I'm dreading the day I do! I let things get to me so god help me haha. Its to be expected though, some people literally sit there all day (scummy peeps with no jobs and 20000 babies) and are jealous of what you do and how you look so they feel the need to be nasty. OH WELL!!! Life goes on. love you xx

    xxx | daisydaisyxxo

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